Raining on the Inside
by Mac1
Summary: Catherine has a quiet moment as she observes her friends and family


Raining on the Inside  
  
Summary: Catherine has a quiet moment as she observes her friends and family Spoilers: parts of the first season, but not many. Time-line: Sometime in the future  
  
Disclaimer: CSI is the property of Jerry Bruckheimer, CBS, et al. I only lay claim to the feelings that caused this story to come about (and therefore own the story)  
  
Author's Note: Feedback is appreciated, but no flames please. When I found out that a wonderful woman, my great-aunt, had passed away the night before and I had to do something or I wouldn't get any sleep.  
  
~~~~  
  
Rain splattered against the dark window. She gazed out at the trees, shrouded in darkness, through her faint reflection. Rainy days always made her depressed, like the Earth was crying the tears that she could only cry on the inside. She could hear the gang laughing and chatting with each other in her living room.  
  
She turned to observe them. Her daughter was entertaining them with a scene from a play she was in that year. A smile slowly appeared upon her face. Lindsey was the only one that could bring a smile to her face just by being in the vicinity.  
  
The lights from the bright room cast shadows around the den, making a shadow play on the wooden desk. She turned from the window and watched her family. Only one person was really a part of her, but her co-workers and friends had formed a family around them. Each had their own idiosyncrasies that made them unique, and yet they were strangely the same.  
  
A dark form entered her domain and blocked her view of the bright room momentarily. He was the only person who really knew why she had slipped out of the party, the only one that she had trusted with her secret. He joined her and watched in silence as the "kids" laughed at a story Nick was sharing. They were all kids compared to the two that watched.  
  
They had all changed over the years. But the person who had changed the most was standing next to her. As the others formed friendships with each other, he had withdrawn into himself. Gone is the easy smile that he had for those that least expected it. Once in a while it appears, but it is so seldom that no one knows what to do when he does it. There are times when he smiles that she can tell it's forced. Those are the times that she knows he is thinking about her. Catherine leaned back against the windowsill and observed the man in front of her. He was lost in thought as she remembered the reason he tried to hide from everyone.  
  
~~~~  
  
Over dinner he had told me about how he yelled at the corpses in the morgue for scaring her. We had laughed about the incident, but afterwards he quickly shut everyone out again. I think I was the only one that realized when the real change in him that took place. The boys thought it was the arrival of Sara that caused him to retreat into his own world, but that was just merely coincidental. Her death, the death of a team member, was the true reason that he hid behind a mask of professionalism.  
  
He shared things with me that none of the others know about. Sara's comment about his lack of attachment to the cases we saw everyday wounded him deeply. I didn't know how to solve that problem, but things seemed to have gotten better over the years. There are times when he retreats and becomes uncommunicative, but those times are becoming fewer and farther apart.  
  
~~~~  
  
The dull clink made while he placed his glass down with a napkin underneath to avoid leaving a stain on the dark wood of the desk interrupted her observation of him. She straightened up and leaned into him; he placed an arm around her shoulders. They were the "parents" of the group, the ones to look up to and ask questions of. Catherine and Grissom stood in the semi-darkness watching the interaction between the people that mattered most to them and smiled contentedly.  
  
"We should probably join them before they get too suspicious." The words were spoken softly, lest the spell that had been woven in the mutual silence be broken.  
  
"Yeah, we better. Won't do to have more gossip floating around the lab than there already is," Catherine said agreeing with him. Grissom looked at her trying to figure out what she meant and noticed the teasing twinkle in her eyes before looking back at the group. Neither moved for several moments as they continued to watch the group in front of them. He made the first move toward the door, but before leaving her side he whispered, "So, should I tell them or do you want to?"  
  
She followed him out of the den without answering. The reflection of the party danced along the dark window, belying the sadness that existed under the surface. The Earth continued to cry for Catherine. It cried for all the lost people that they found every night; it cried the tears that she couldn't shed without losing herself. 


End file.
